Frequently Asked Questions


Note that “Better Birth” is based on the BornClear method.
Bornclear is the very unique childbirth preparation course and method
that Denise Spatafora has been teaching since 2001.




What is the BornClear method?

BornClear’s methodology rests on the principle of the mind/body connection—your thoughts affect/control your body and your physical experience. With regard to the body, BornClear teaches the physiology of labor (stages of labor, the internal chemicals available to us, which are our body’s natural pain relievers).

With this knowledge you learn to work with your body through the process rather than being distracted or working against the natural unfolding of labor. With regard to the mind, BornClear teaches tools which include visualization, meditation, manifestation and deep relaxation exercises as well as exercises to help eliminate fears and concerns, create cohesion in your birth team and devise and execute your birth plan-wish list. We have educated and inspired scores of women in this methodology, leaving them fully prepared and ready for birthing, trusting their bodies and instincts and fully connected to their power and wisdom. If this were the only course you took. you would be fully prepared. In addition, through this methodolgy, you learn so much about yourself, for it is also a journey of self-growth that can be enlightening and very empowering. Through exercises, we also uncover buried fears and concerns that that would limit the possibility of the experience as well as limit one’s body from opening naturally as designed.

It does not matter where our clients give birth—a birthing center, a hospital, at home—but that they are educated and empowered about all their choices and conversations.


So many women have bad birthing experiences. Why do you think this is so?

I think there are a few reasons for this problem. The first one is that the main conversation in America around birth is about fear—and there's a “hope you make it” kind of energy around it. That fear permeates all conversations, including the births we watch on TV, stories we read, stories people tell, etc. I had two beautiful, peaceful births and would give birth many times over—that is not what people normally hear. In addition to fear, people are very uneducated about all facets of the birthing process. They don't take the time to educate themselves on the options and decide what would work best for them, where they would feel safest and most taken care of.

This journey can be created: in the beginning of the BornClear course, we distinguish that the main conversation on the planet is one of fear around birth and discuss each person's own conversation about it. From there, we create the context and foster a conversation establishing that they do truly want to have for their births, which is their commitment to themselves. The rest of the course is taught inside of that context that they fostered for themselves. It's all about getting educated, being empowered, understanding the path, finding out what questions to ask and alignment of your team. Alignment of your birth team is crucial. Often times, a woman or a couple don’t align their birth team or get all questions answered before the experience happens—the lack of this kind of preparation is staggering.


Another reason for negative birth experiences happens when a woman is interrupted during birth because of fear. When this happens, her body emits stress hormones called cathecolmines, which can counteract any sense of peace or pain relief via your natural endorphins which are 400 times more powerful than morphine. In fact, the release of this hormone can stall a labor or stop it entirely. This point is where medical intervention can create a bad experience: often doctors immediately start thinking that something is wrong, which causes more stress. Then medical procedures begin which normally take the birth on a wrong turn. If the baby is not in distress, it doesn't matter how long a woman takes to dialate. If she is left alone in these cases to relax again and go inward and feel safe, she can release her natural endorphins, which will kick in the oxytocin to allow for labor to begin again.

There are also other natural ways to release endorphins like stimulating the erogenous zones, being in the shower, light touch message, all done in a quiet, unobtrusive way. In the cases of all the people with whom I have worked who have had a bad experience, I can trace back to the point where there was this kind of interruption, fear or concern that interrupted the natural process and the woman was not left to naturally correct or re-initiate the process naturally on her own time.

One couple, in particular, told me that if they had not taken the BornClear course, there is no question the woman would have had a C-section based on the course of events that went down with their birth team—specifically their doctor—during the birth.

How can women prepare both mentally and physically for childbirth?

By taking courses like BornClear the enable you to understand options. This knowledge-based empowerment affects the mental and emotional states. Other ways to prepare are pre-natal yoga, of which I am a huge advocate. Relaxation methods of any kind quiet the mind, allowing endorphins to be released into the body. To learn how to relax and go inward on your own command and the hear and feel the signals of the body is priceless. Walking, messages, quiet time listening to visualizations that resonate with you (in the bath, if you can) and anything that nurtures and connects you with yourself and the baby all prepare you for the big event.

What is a birth plan?

It is your wish list of how you would like it to go, including questions about your practitioners or institution's procedures, policies and standards. It's a powerful road map to allow everyone on your birth team to speak the same language and align before the birth—all knowing what to expect and honoring the wishes of the couple/mother. This plan lines up beautifully with what they first create in the course, their context or conversation/wishes for their birth.

Most people do not create a birth plan nor review these important questions and conversations; they let the practitioner lead the way. Imagine if you were building your dream house and you let the architect, builder designer do everything they want with absolutely no input from you. You're the one living your life in that home, so why would you let someone else design it for you to their needs?


What is a birth team?

I define the birth team as your doctor/midwife, doula (if you have one), partner and extended birth team, which may be people around you that day helping like mother, father friends, etc. This team is the couple's team, with the couple and baby being the main key voice and center. The team definitely needs to be aligned based on the main key voice, which should be clear.


What should all women know about giving birth?

There are amazing choices. Trust yourself and your body and the experience can be beautiful and profoundly powerful for yourself, your partner and your baby. My children watch their beautiful births on their birthdays. Their births were a great way to start their lives and my birthing as a mother.

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